Create The Best Me

Reclaiming Your Dreams and Redefining Success in Midlife

August 01, 2024 • Carmen Hecox • Episode 75

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Today, we're diving deep into rediscovering those fierce childhood dreams and asking ourselves the crucial question: What does it mean to live for ourselves? We'll explore the concept of redefining success and happiness on our terms, dare to dream again, and make the most out of this transformative stage of midlife. From hilarious kitchen disasters to impromptu dance parties at the fair, my stories will make you laugh and inspire you to take bold steps toward reclaiming your voice and spirit.

5 Key Lessons:

  1. Reignite Your Childhood Dreams: Remember the audacious dreams you had as a kid? It's never too late to revisit and chase them. Picture yourself as you envisioned—whether it’s ruling a kingdom or riding dragons.   
  2. Redefine Success and Happiness: Shake off societal expectations and redefine what success and happiness look like for you. Life's too short to live by someone else’s rulebook.
  3. Embrace Failure and Laughter: As I did with my infamous birthday cake attempt, remember that trying, failing, and laughing through the process is what enriches our lives.
  4. Combat Invisible Woman Syndrome: Don't fade into the background. Take bold actions and crank up the volume on your own life soundtrack to remind the world and yourself just how vibrant you still are.
  5. Invest in Self-Development: From devouring inspirational books to joining industry meetups, constantly fuel your mind and expand your network. Your next big opportunity might be just around the corner.

 

Call to Action:

Ready to reignite your dreams and redefine your own path to happiness? Learn more by listening to our latest episode. Don’t forget to visit https://createthebestme.com/ep075  for the full transcript and additional resources.

Next Week’s Episode:

 And as always, make sure you tune in next week for an enlightening discussion on beating brain fog with Dr. Anna Marie Frank. 

📕 Resources: 

https://createthebestme.com/ep075 

https://createthebestme.com/ep072 

 

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🎧 Listen to this episode: 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/15395445 

 

#SelfRediscovery #MidlifePassion #PersonalGrowth #InvisibleWomanSyndrome #SelfCare #EmbraceMidlife #MidlifeTransformation #RediscoverYourDreams #CreateTheBestMe #MidlifeSuccess #midlifereawakening, rediscover dreams 

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Ever wondered if life could still surprise you? What if I told you that Create the Best Me isn't about shaking off regrets or chasing after unreachable riches? Imagine, for just a moment, rediscovering the fierce dreams you had when you were younger. Intrigued? Stick around because I'm about to share a story that might just reignite your wildest dreams. Picture this, you're eight years old again, where every shelf could be a mountain to conquer and every backyard a kingdom to rule. My own childhood dreams, they were bold and bright. Ruling a vast kingdom with a crown made of daisies and riding dragons instead of bikes. But let's fast forward. Here I am, decades later, I've got a life filled with joys I never imagined. Three incredible kids who could teach me more about anime than I ever cared to know. Three energetic dogs that never fail at reminding me that they need their vitamins every morning. And a husband who's both my stronghold and my partner in speed walking three and a half miles every morning. And yet there's this little voice asking, is this it? And you know what? It's okay to wonder. We've all been there. Guided, molded, shaped by the expectations set upon us. Don't be too loud. Don't step out of line. Make sure you fit in. I remember being told to dress a certain way, to laugh a certain way, all to climb the corporate ladder, only to find it was leaning against the wrong wall. And yes, I even preached these virtues to my kids. Why? Because what would the world say if I didn't? But here's where we turn the page. Who really cares what the world thinks? It's our time - time to redefine what success and happiness looks like. Time to dust off those dreams and ask ourselves, "What if I lived a little more for me?" And let me tell you, it starts with reclaiming that voice, that spirit we've pushed aside. So, are you ready to laugh at the rules and maybe break a few? I sure am. And speaking of breaking things, wait till I tell you about the time I decided to join my husband and daughter for a day at the fair and concert only to end up having my own dance party. That story coming up next. And believe me, it's a good one. As we've already touched upon, for decades many of us have dedicated our lives to fulfilling the dreams and expectations of others. But as we enter this transformative stage of midlife, a question arises: What would it truly feel like to live for ourselves? Imagine liberating yourself from those old scripts. Today, we'll dive into that exhilarating journey, but first let me tease you with a little story about the day I tried to take control of my health and instead ended up with a kitchen disaster that still brings a smile to my face. For too long, our roles as parents, partners, and professionals have dictated our daily lives. We've nurtured our children from toddlers to adults, champion our roles in the workplace and weathered the storms of relationships. All these years, if we tally them up, that's over 5 decades of putting others first, shaping a life around external expectations rather than internal desires. Now, as we embrace what some call midlife, it's not just a phase, it's a new beginning. It's our time to ask ourselves, what ignites my passion? What dreams did I defer in favor of duty? This isn't about having a crisis; it's about having a revelation, a reawakening of the self. It's about exploring perhaps for the first time what activities, hobbies, or new careers light up our spirits, and bring genuine joy and inspiration into our days. Take for instance, the time I decided to make my husband a healthy birthday cake. I envisioned a masterpiece, a testament to my newfound culinary skills. Instead, I ended up with layers so flat they could make a pancake jealous, and cashew frosting that was more of a drink then a spread! It was a flop, sure, but in that moment, trying something new, I was living for myself, learning and laughing. And oh, did we laugh. So if you're pondering whether it's too late to shift the focus back to what makes you truly happy, let me tell you.- it's never too late. Now is the perfect time to rediscover and chase those dreams. And about that birthday cake, it didn't just teach me to keep desserts simple. It reminded me that it's the effort and the intention behind our action that truly enriches our lives. It's these moments of trying, failing, and trying again that makes the real adventure of living Stay with me as we explore more ways to ignite our passion and redefine what success looks like in this vibrant phase of life. You might just find that creating the best version of you is the most rewarding journey of all. Have you ever noticed as we get older, it feels like we're fading into the background? But wait, before I dive into what I call"invisible woman syndrome," let me tell you about the time I turned a compliment at the grocery store into an impromptu karaoke party in the cereal aisle. Stick around for that story. it's a good one. Why do these changes hit us like a freight train? Suddenly, it's not just about a few gray hairs or a different number on the scale. Our entire world shifts physically, mentally, and yes, even how we're perceived. Remember those days when a simple " You look great today!" Could boost your mood instantly? Now those compliments seem few and far between. It's not just about vanity - it's about visibility. Our actions, our decisions, our very thoughts that once drew nods and notes of appreciation now slip by unnoticed. It's like we're slowly being erased from the picture, which let me tell you, It's not just disheartening, but downright unacceptable. And here's something that might shock you. According to the latest scoop from Let's Talk Menopause, there are seventy-five million women in the U. S. navigating through the stages of menopause or what I call midlife. Every single day, another six thousand women join this exclusive club. That's thousands of us potentially fading, but here's the kicker - we don't have to accept this invisibility cloak they're trying to throw over us. And speaking of throwing things off, back to the day at the grocery store. There I was, examining the nutritional contents on a cereal box. When a young staff member caught me singing, "Try Everything," what started out as a solo performance became a singing duel. And I thought no one heard me. Next thing you knew, we're both grooving to Shakira's "Try Everything," drawing smiles and a few other brave souls into our breakfast karaoke. That moment, it was pure magic, reminding me and everyone that we're far from invisible. So, why is it crucial to shake off this " invisible woman syndrome" and step back into the spotlight? Because every single one of us deserves to be seen, heard, and celebrated no matter our age. And just like that, my impromptu dual karaoke sometimes you just need to crank up the volume on your own life soundtrack to remind the world and yourself just how vibrant you still are. Remember, you're not alone in this. I'm here to keep pushing the boundaries with you, turning up the dial on our visibility one karaoke song, one darling decision at a time. Let's make sure the world sees just how much we still have to offer. And now that you know, we can sing our way through the cereal aisle, what's stopping us from singing our way through the rest of our life? Have you ever stopped and revisited your childhood dreams? Those grand plans of who you'd become, where you'd live, what you would do? Let's take a moment to journey back to those thrilling days of boundless dreams. But before we dive into that, have you ever considered if one day you decided to really chase those dreams? Stick with me. I have a story that might just inspire you to do that. Think back to those early visions of your future. Maybe you saw yourself in a sprawling house by the sea, or thriving in a busy city, leading meetings in a high rise office. Perhaps you were painting in a sunlit studio, or teaching in a classroom filled with eager faces. Now pause for a second. Look around. How close is your current life to that vivid dream? What delights you about your career? How does your home feel like that sanctuary you once imagined? Often, it's not just tangible barriers like education or resources that hold us back. More frequently, those nagging doubts whispering that it's too late, you're too old, or the change now would be too risky. Fear of failure, fear of judgment, it seeps into our mindset, constructing walls that seem too high to climb. Imagine you're at a masquerade ball, where everyone is hiding behind these elaborate masks of "what ifs" and "but only." Everyone's playing it safe, including you, but what happens when you toss aside that mask, step into the dance floor, unmask, daring to live out loud. That's where the real magic begins.

Now it's crucial to ask ourself:

Who are we letting judge our performance in this grand play of life? Why let the spectators hold any power over us? Remember, it's not the critic who counts. It's not about those pointing fingers or whispering doubts, as. President Theodore Roosevelt so profoundly said in The Man in the Arena, The only opinion that truly matters is those of people who are right there with you, striving, stumbling, and striving again. Those who, like you, have dust and sweat on their face from doing the work, from daring greatly. Those are the opinions to cherish and the voices to heed. So shake off those limiting beliefs. It's time to stop crafting excuses that sound so real they become our prison. Let's dare to dream again, dare to fail and dare to succeed. And about that story I promised about chasing a dream that seemed too far gone, I'll show you how taking one bold step can change everything. Ready to take that step with me? Let's redefine what too late really means and make our second act the best one yet. Alright, let's kick this off with a bang. The first step for being the best me is to immerse yourself in self-development content. Think of this as your personal growth buffet. Whether it's tuning into this show, binge watching, transformative YouTube channels, or devouring books or audio books that spark those "aha!" moments, each piece of content is a tool in your arsenal. These resources are like your personal cheerleader equipped with pom poms ready to keep you motivated and moving forward. So make a playlist of your favorite motivational speakers, line up those inspiring podcasts, and let's turn every moment of learning into a step toward greatness. Who said self improvement couldn't be fun? Now, let's take a little trip down imagination lane. Remember how, as a kid, the world was full of possibilities? Astronaut, president, rock star - nothing seemed out of reach. Let's bring that energy back. Close your eyes. Imagine you're living your dream life. What does it look like? Are you strutting down Wall Street in a power suit? Are you in a studio, paint on your hands, crafting your next masterpiece? Visualize where you are, the people around you, the conversations you're having. Can you see it? Feel it? Good. Now grab that trusty journal - yes, we're going old school with the pen and paper. Write it all down. This isn't a mere daydream; it's crafting your future reality, one vivid detail at a time. Time to roll up those sleeves because we're diving into the networking pool. Expanding your social and professional circles is like opening a treasure chest of opportunities. Reflecting on my discussion with Shannon Talbot in episode 72, "Stop Living on Autopilot," she transformed her career trajectory simply by reaching out and connecting with others. Networking is about finding your tribe - people who challenge you, inspire you, and push you to reach heights you never thought possible. Start mingling at industry meetups, join online forums, maybe even hit a conference or two. Your next big opportunity could be waiting just around the corner, disguised as a casual coffee chat. If you haven't seen or heard that episode, I'll make sure to include the link in the show notes.

Here's a truth bomb:

You need to take breaks - yes, force breaks. Think of them as essential pit stops in your marathon of life. We can get so caught up in our ambition that we forget to hit pause, breathe, and just be.

But here's the kicker:

these breaks are not stalling your progress; they're powering it. Schedule them just like you would any important appointment because guess what? They're crucial. Whether it's a quick walk, a moment of meditation, or just sitting quietly with a cup of tea. These pauses help rejuvenate your mind and body, ensuring you're always operating at your best. And lastly, let's think about the long game. Did you know that most of us are going to live to see our eighties? That's right - our adventure is likely to be a long one, so let's make it a great one. Stay active, eat right, and keep up with regular health checkups are not just chores, they're an investment in your long term well-being. Treat them like routine maintenance for your most precious assets - your health. Regular checkups, a balanced diet and physical activity. Are the trifecta of a vibrant life. After all, we're not just planning for today; we're planning for the fantastic future. Ready to join me? Let's make our upcoming years the most empowering yet. So, that day at the fair with my husband and daughter, I decided I was tired of being the proper mom, who always makes sure everyone is safe and in order. Well that day while watching Queen Nation perform, I decided I just wanted to break free. And just be present. So, this time I didn't just sing, I started dancing like nobody was watching. And for those who are probably thinking I must have taken a drink of liquid courage, nope. I haven't had a drink since November of 2001. Who would have known that my eleven-year-old is still talking about how much fun she had that day. And to tell you the truth, I'm still talking about it. So as we wrap up today's journey of self discovery and personal growth, remember that creating the best version of yourself isn't a race- it's a carefully curated journey. From consuming enriching content that fuels your mind, visualizing your dream life to bring it into reality, expanding your network to open new doors, to taking crucial breaks to recharge your spirit - each step is vital. These aren't just tasks on your to do list; they're part of a larger strategy to ensure you're living your life to the fullest, most vibrant potential. And speaking of vibrant potential, don't forget the importance of looking after your long term health. A well-maintained body mind are the greatest assets to this journey. They are the tools that will carry you through the decades of adventure, and achievements and joy. And for those of you who are excited about improving your mental clarity and vitality as I am, you won't want to miss next week's episode. We'll be joined by the incredible Dr. Anna Marie Frank, fellow podcaster and the brains behind Happy Whole You. She'll be diving into the topic of brain fog, something many of us struggle. Dr. Frank will share practical strategies, not just to manage it, but to potentially clear it up entirely. It's going to be an enlightening discussion filled with insights that could change how you think, work, and live. For additional information and to access today's transcript, head on over to createthebestme.com/ep075. Make sure you tune in next week. Subscribe if you haven't already and share this journey with friends who might also be looking for that spark to reignite their own path. Together let's continue creating the best versions of ourselves, healthier, wiser, and more fulfilled than ever. Catch you next week. Bye for now.