Create The Best Me

Not Stuck—Growing: Find YOUR Midlife Purpose

• Carmen Hecox • Episode 115

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Are you feeling lost in midlife, wondering, “Now what?” In “Not Stuck—Growing: Find YOUR Midlife Purpose,” I explore what happens when old milestones no longer bring fulfillment and why that sense of restlessness isn’t failure; it’s a powerful call to grow. If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck after 50, I want to show you how this can be the start of your most meaningful chapter yet. 

In “Not Stuck—Growing: Find YOUR Midlife Purpose,” I share the real reason so many of us hit a wall after years of living up to the expectations of family and career. You’ll discover the simple, step-by-step journaling method that helped me, and can help you reveal your “why,” reconnect with what sparks your joy, and uncover hidden gifts you may have set aside. Plus, I offer encouragement for anyone navigating menopause, loneliness, or a loss of identity, and practical inspiration for making small, sustainable changes every day. 

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why feeling “stuck” is really an invitation to grow beyond old roles
  • How to journal your way to clarity on your values, strengths, and passions
  • The importance of uncovering lifelong patterns through childhood memories and feedback from others
  • How negative self-talk keeps you from your best self, and how to break the cycle
  • Easy daily shifts that move you closer to your midlife purpose and joy

 

Call to Action:
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Tell me below: what’s one small change you’re making today as you find your midlife purpose?

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https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/17119307 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/17040186 

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Are you stuck or are you being called to grow? Have you ever found yourself wondering, now what? I've checked all the boxes and I've accomplished everything I was supposed to do, but now I'm bored, or life doesn't feel so fulfilling like I thought it was supposed to feel like. Your family life, marriage, job, and hobbies don't give you the same joy they used to, and you're asking yourself again," Now What?" What is it going to take to make me feel happy and alive again? Who stole my happiness and how do I get unstuck? The good news is that you're not stuck; you've reached a phase in your life where it's time to change and grow. Why is it time for change and growth, you might be asking? Well, because we've lived the first half of our lives living up to others' expectations that were placed upon us. Maybe getting married, building careers, raising a family, and taking care of others' needs, and now we're feeling the overwhelming feeling of, is this, what life is supposed to feel like? Or perhaps you're like me and you were expecting a happy ending, like the ones we see in the movies where your child turns back and thanks you for the sacrifices that you made to help them reach their current position. And then your heart melts because it feels so good. Or at work, your boss surprises you with a promotion, the corner office, a bonus and a large raise. Wow, wouldn't all those be awesome? But that didn't happen. In fact, not even close. So let's talk more about change and growth. My dear friend, it's time to find our why. And I know what you're probably saying right now, "What do you mean, I need to find my why"? This all sounds like a bunch of nonsense, but just stay with me here; it'll all make sense if you follow along. Finding your why is the gateway to discovering your new purpose. Your why is your calling. It's how you envision your life and work. It's what excites you and motivates you and keeps you going. Your why comes from within and it's not something that someone thinks you should do or say because it's totally your calling. It's actually deeper than that. So how do we find our why? First of all, discovering what your why is is not going to magically appear the first time you try the exercise I'm going to suggest. But if it does kudos to you, I want you to post the comments below because I want to cheer you on. For some of you who don't like writing, you may not like this exercise, but trust the process and you will be thanking me at the end! Grab a notebook or journal and write about your thoughts, feelings, and anything you did that made you feel good every day. If you're having trouble writing, then answer these questions. What values or principles really guided my decisions today? What was I naturally good at today? What excited me today that I just can't stop talking about it or would love to learn more? What am I actually willing to do or take action or make short term sacrifices to do more of what I did today so that I can take further actions later? How would I like to be remembered today? Try doing this for 60 to 90 days. Then I want you to review your notebook or journal and look for trends. Ask your friends or family members who really know you, "What am I good at?" Or "what is the topic or activity that I am known for, or I can't stop talking about?" Write down everyone's answers except the ones that say,"Well, you're just so nice." I want answers that when you hear them or read them, they give you goosebumps! Review everyone's answers for trends. Now, I want you to think of a specific childhood event that you can recall vividly as if you were experiencing it right now. Write down every single detail about that event. Now look for similarities between your childhood event, what your friends said, and what you have journaled; what are the common themes? Let's say as a child, you helped another student figure out a math problem that a teacher or their parents couldn't do. And your friend's responses, they've identified you as a person who helps them meet their goals by guiding them along the way. And when you reviewed your journal, you've noticed that the trend is coaching people, that's what lights you up and makes you want to do more of it. Perhaps being a coach is a burning desire. I had like to take this moment to share a personal story. Recently I was asked why I chose to start a YouTube and podcast show for women in midlife. My answer was because going through midlife can feel lonely, even though you were surrounded by friends and family. And because we are all different, we don't always experience the same symptoms, during different phases of menopause. Therefore discussing those changes with other women can be complex. Your best friend may have zero symptoms and another friend may have so many symptoms and when speaking to them it can actually drain your energy. And sometimes we don't define these symptoms or feelings we're going through as tied to menopause because let's be honest, no one wants to say the word menopause because it might make us sound old and no one wants to admit that we're getting older. So we keep it bottled up, and when we keep things bottled up, we begin to change in negative ways. I did the exercise I shared with you, and what I discovered was that my trend was helping people, not just women, to see their unique gifts and talents. And help them remove the darkness, negative self-talk or thoughts that were holding them back from sharing their gifts and talents with the world and become the best version of themselves. This is what lit me up and makes me want to work with more people. Watching people transform before my eyes fills my heart with joy. In fact, it's what keeps me inspired to do more. Through my YouTube podcast and blog, I can reach more people 24 / 7. Trust me, I know what it's like to fall into the trap of negative self-talk, because I've been there 22 years ago when I was told as an avid runner, I'd have to hang up my running shoes because the accident I was involved in damaged my upper and lower spine and running would cause additional damage and pain. I told myself, you are more than a runner, you're a mother, a role model, a woman who's here to create change, but the only way to make that change is to accept that I've been given a different path than the one I had originally stepped out for. And there's so much beauty to be discovered along this new path. Again, it's all about change and growth. I could not change or grow if I was allowing myself to feel like a victim who was robbed of her love for running. I changed my mindset and I discovered my "why" and I'm growing daily by aligning with it. So before you begin the exercise I mentioned before, please, take a breath, just pause for one moment and I want you to tell yourself, "I love you. You are doing the best you can. What you are feeling is not failure, and it doesn't mean you're broken. It means something needs to shift. You are not stuck. You are being called for grow." Now, what are you doing right now to become the best version of yourself? If this episode inspired you and you want to learn more about making small shifts, I recommend you watch or listen to "Make Small Changes for Big Results in Your Life Today", or "5 Simple Steps to Embrace Your Fears and Unlock Your Potential Today!" You can find those links appear here or in the show notes. Until then, keep dreaming big and remember, small, meaningful daily shifts will get you closer to finding your why. Thank you for watching. Catch You next week. Bye for now.