Create The Best Me

Brain Fog vs. Dementia: What's Actually Happening

• Carmen Hecox • Episode 153

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Ever had a moment where you’re in mid-sentence and the right word just… disappears? If you’re in your 40s, 50s, or 60s and are wondering whether those lapses are just menopause brain fog or something more serious, this episode is for you.

In today’s episode, I open up about the real reasons behind midlife memory glitches and explain why what you’re experiencing is almost always part of a normal biological transition (not early dementia). 

We dig into what’s really going on in your brain during menopause, how to spot the difference between typical brain fog and true dementia red flags, and my three key strategies for getting your memory and self-assurance back on track. If the fear of memory loss has been weighing on your mind, I want you to know you are not alone. Most importantly: you are not losing your mind!

5 Key Lessons:

  • Estrogen and Your Brain: Learn how dropping estrogen levels dim the “lights” in your brain and why this leads to tip-of-the-tongue moments but not lost memories.
  • Cortisol’s Double-Whammy: See how stress hormones can create a memory-blocking feedback loop in moments of forgetfulness, making brain fog feel worse.
  • Red Flags vs. Normal Moments: Get clear, actionable checkpoints to distinguish between menopause brain fog and early signs of dementia.
  • Three-Part Brain Reset Routine: Discover my menu for feeding your brain, offloading to-do lists, and stopping the panic spiral when you forget a word in public.
  • Self-Compassion in Midlife: Why your worth isn’t measured by your recall speed, and why awareness itself is a reassuring sign.

Call to Action:

Ready to transform your day-to-day energy, regain mental clarity, and finally understand what your brain needs? Hit like, share with a friend who needs this.  

📕 Resources: 

https://createthebestme.com/ep153

https://createthebestme.com/podcast/menopause-belly-fat/

https://createthebestme.com/podcast/3-am-racing-heart-in-midlife-causes/

 Related Episodes:

🎧 Listen to these episodes: 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/18510213

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1949561/episodes/18438445 

 Disclaimer:

This episode is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Consult a healthcare provider for health concerns.

#MenopauseBrainFog #MemoryLoss #PerimenopauseSymptoms #WomensHealthOver50 #BrainHealth #CreateTheBestMe 

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Speaker:

It's the little moments that scare you the most. You're in the middle of a sentence talking to a friend, and suddenly the word is just gone. You can see the object in your mind. You can picture it, you know it, but your brain is just blank. You laugh it off and say, “Oh, it's just my menopause brain." You make a joke to cover the awkward silence. But later, when you're alone, that fear creeps in. Is this normal or is this just the beginning of something worse? Is this just brain fog, or is this early dementia? If you're a woman in your forties, fifties, or sixties, and you've been terrified by those “where did my brain go?” moments, I want you to listen. Because what I'm about to say is very important. Most of what you are experiencing is not early dementia. You are not losing your mind. Your brain is going through a massive biological transition. And there is a very real, very physical reason why your memory feels different right now. As a transformational coach, and here at Create the Best Me, we don't just talk about "aging gracefully." We talk about what it really feels like to be a woman in midlife and how to navigate it with actual tools, not just plateaus. In this episode, I'm going to walk through three things: What actually happens in your brain during menopause the biology. How to tell the difference between typical menopause fog and actual red flag symptoms. My three-part brain reset routine to help you find your words and confidence again. Let's start with the biology. Why is this happening? To understand this, we need to talk about estrogen. For most of our lives, we think of estrogen as a reproductive hormone that manages our periods and helps us have babies. But estrogen is actually the master brain protector. Think of estrogen like a steady electrical current that powers your brain. It supports blood flow to the brain cells. It protects neurons from inflammation. It even helps regulate neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. When we have plenty of estrogen, the lights are on at full blast. You can see everything clearly. You can find things easily. But during perimenopause and menopause, that steady current starts to fluctuate. It spikes, it drops, and eventually it lowers permanently. It's like someone playing with the dimmer switch in your living room. The lights flicker and they get a little dimmer. And when the lights dim, it's harder to find things, right? You might stumble, you might squint. This is exactly what happens to the memory part of your brain and the focus center. These areas of your brain are packed with estrogen receptors. When estrogen drops, these areas essentially lose their "fuel source." They don't die. They don't break. They just slow down. This is why you have that tip of the tongue phenomenon. The file for the word is still in your brain. You haven't lost the file. But the retrieval system the search engine is running on low power. So when you can't find the word “spatula,” it's not because you have dementia. It's because your brain search engine is buffering. Now, if it were just hormones, it would be annoying, but manageable. But we have to add a second ingredient that makes this terrifying: cortisol. We talked about cortisol in my last two videos regarding belly fat and sleep. Well, guess what? It's running your memory too. When have a moment of forgetfulness, what is your immediate reaction? Panic. “Oh my God, I forgot. Everyone is staring at me. I look stupid.” That split second of shame triggers a shot of cortisol, stress hormone.

Here's the cruel irony:

cortisol blocks memory retrieval. So you forget a word because of low estrogen. You panic, high cortisol, the panic shuts down the memory center even more. Now you really can't find the word. You aren't losing your mind; you are stuck in a Stress Loop. And let's be honest about our lives right now. Midlife is the sandwich generation era. You might be caring for aging parents, worried about adult children, managing a career, and trying to keep a household running. Your brain is processing more data than a 25-year-old's brain, but with less hormonal fuel. If you tried to run a high-definition video editing software on an old laptop with a hundred browser tabs open, the laptop would crash. That is exactly what your brain is doing right now. It's not broken; it's just overloaded. And I know what you're thinking. "Okay, Carmen, that sounds nice, but how do you know it's not dementia?" I'm not a doctor, and if you are worried, you should always get it checked. But there are very specific differences between "Menopause Brain" and "Dementia." Let's go through the checklist. The Key Test.

Menopause Brain:

You lose your keys. You eventually find them in your coat pocket or the counter, and you think, " Ugh, I'm so scatterbrained.”

Red flag:

You find the keys in the refrigerator or the oven, and you have no memory of putting them there, and it doesn't seem strange to you that they are there. The Word Test. Menopause Brain. You forget the word "Remote Control." You say, "hand me that, you know the clicker thing for the TV." You describe it. The word comes to you an hour later in the shower. You forget the word, and you can't describe what the object does. You stare at the remote and you don't know what it is used for. The "Lost" Test.

Menopause Brain:

You drive to the store, you zone out, missing your turn. You realize it, turn around, and get back on track.

Red Flag:

You are in your own neighborhood, on the street you've driven 500 times, and you suddenly have no idea where you are or how to get home.

The Awareness Factor:

This is the biggest one. In Menopause Brain Fog, YOU are the one noticing it. You are frustrated. You are apologizing. You are aware of the change. In early stages of dementia, often the person does not notice. It is usually family members who notice first. If you are watching this video, terrify that you are losing your memory, the fact that you are aware enough to be terrified is actually a good sign. So we know it's likely hormones and stress. What do we do? We can't just wait for it to pass. Here is my three part brain reset routine to help you function better right now.

Strategy One:

Feed your brain. The glucose stabilizer. Your brain uses 20% of your body's energy. When your blood sugar drops, your brain goes offline first. If you are skipping breakfast or running on coffee until 2:00 PM, you are starving your brain. For the next week, I want you to eat protein and fat within one hour of waking up. An egg, Greek yogurt, a protein shake. Stable blood sugar equals stable focus. It's that simple.

Strategy Number Two:

The "External Hard Drive." Stop trying to be a hero. In your thirties, you could hold a mental to-do list of 50 items. You can't do that anymore, and you shouldn't try. Write It Down. Using a list, a calendar, a voice memo isn't giving up. It's offloading the work so that your brain has energy left over for thinking. If you write it down, your brain doesn't have to spend energy holding it.

Strategy Number Three:

Pause And Pivot. This is for that moment when you forget a word in public. Instead of freezing and panicking, which releases cortisol, I want you to have a script ready. When the word disappears, smile, take a deep breath and say: “That word is hiding from me right now. I'll come back in a minute. Anyways, the point is." By acknowledging it without shame, you stop the cortisol spike. And usually the moment you stop forcing it, the word pops right back up. And I wanna leave you with this thought. Your values as a woman, as a mother, as a professional, is not based on your ability to remember the name of the actor that was in that movie from 1995 instantly. Your wisdom, your experience, your heart is still there. The machinery is just being upgraded. Be patient with yourself. If you try the protein breakfast this week, let me know in the comments. Did you notice a difference in your afternoon focus? I wanna hear your results. And if you're ready to tackle the physical side of stress, specifically that stubborn midlife weight that seems to come from nowhere, you need to watch this video right here on Menopause Belly. If you would like to read more about today's topic, you can read that at createthebestme.com/ep153. Until then, catch you next week and remember, you are beautiful, strong, and capable of creating the best version of yourself. Don't forget to be kind to yourself. I'll see you next week. Bye for now.