Create The Best Me
We're an age-positive podcast that celebrates the richness of midlife and beyond. Hosted by Carmen Hecox, a seasoned transformational coach, our platform provides an empowering outlook on these transformative years. With a keen focus on perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause, Carmen brings together thought leaders, authors, artists, and entrepreneurs for candid conversations that inspire and motivate.
Each episode is packed with expert insights and practical advice to help you navigate life's challenges and seize opportunities for growth, wellness, and fulfillment. From career transitions and personal development to health, beauty, and relationships, "Create The Best Me" is your guide to thriving in midlife. Tune in and transform your journey into your most exhilarating adventure yet.
Create The Best Me
Why Weight Regain Happens After GLP-1’s or Bariatric Surgery
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What happens when the surgery, medication, or number on the scale does not create the lasting change you expected?
In this episode, I’m joined by Shenelle Green, founder of Bariatric Rewrite, for an honest conversation about weight regain, food noise, sugar cravings, emotional eating, and the realities many people are never prepared for after bariatric surgery or while taking a GLP-1 medication.
Shenelle shares how getting sober in 2020 eventually led to bariatric surgery and why changing her stomach did not automatically change her relationship with food. When her hunger returned seven months after surgery, she began looking more closely at the protein products, artificial sweeteners, ultra-processed foods, habits, and emotional patterns influencing her choices.
We discuss why bariatric surgery and GLP-1 medications are not the easy way out, why some people continue struggling even after significant weight loss, and how unresolved stress, resentment, fear, and shame can keep the cycle going.
Shenelle also shares the unforgettable story of the hot pink couch she believed would finally make her feel satisfied. Instead, it helped her recognize that no purchase, relationship, business achievement, or number on the scale could fill what she was trying to resolve internally.
We also explore menopause and weight gain, transfer addiction, whole-food protein, accountability without shame, GLP-1 plateaus, and why lasting change often begins with one small, consistent decision.
This conversation is for anyone who has ever reached a goal and quietly wondered, “Why don’t I feel different?”
Music by:
Epidemic Sound
Call to Action:
Have you ever reached a goal and realized it did not fix what you thought it would? Share your experience in the comments. Your story may help someone else feel less alone.
📕 Resources:
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⚖️ Disclaimer:
IMPORTANT: This episode contains personal experiences, opinions, and coaching perspectives and is intended for educational purposes only. It is not medical, nutritional, or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before changing your medication, dosage, nutrition plan, or treatment.
#GLP1 #BariatricSurgery #WeightRegain #FoodNoise #MidlifeWomen #BariatricRewrite #CreateTheBestMe
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📽️ Video Request:
What if the thing you thought would finally fix everything didn't? Not the surgery, not the shot, not even the healthy protein products everyone tells you to buy. Today, I'm talking with Shenelle Green, founder of Bariatric Rewrite, and we're getting honest about what so many women are never told after bariatric surgery Or while taking GLP-1s. We're talking about weight regain, food noise, sugar cravings, why some healthy choices can actually keep you stuck, and why this journey has to go deeper than the scale. And somewhere in this conversation, a hot pink couch makes a surprise appearance and ends up teaching a lesson you probably won't forget. So if you've ever wondered why willpower alone isn't enough or why lasting change feels harder than it should, stay with us. This is a good one. Shenelle Green, welcome to Create the Best Me. Boy, this is an honor and a privilege. I'm so excited about today's conversation. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. So Shenelle, before we get into today's juicy conversation, could you please tell the listeners and viewers a little bit about your journey? Yeah, I feel like it's like such a loaded question for me because there's a few of them in my story. But I always take it back to about 2020. End of 2020, I got sober from drugs and alcohol. And in 2022, I got the gift of bariatric surgery. And that was really where my life started to make some wild changes. In December of '22, I came on social media talking about not a super popular subject, which was taking a whole foods approach after bariatric surgery, recognizing that I didn't have the greatest relationship with food and that it often mirrored my drinking and my drug use. And people started asking me for help. And since then, at The Bariatric Rewrite, we've been coaching thousands of women and men on their bariatric journey. But it all just sort of started back with getting sober in 2020. None of those things would have happened had I not, not started there. Yeah. And I think I know quite a bit of people that have had either bariatric surgery or have done GLP-1, and it really gets me angry. And this is the part that gets me angry, is that I feel like there's no education about what life is going to be like after because it is different than the life you had before. Absolutely, it is. I think that there's a lack of of education on the disease of obesity, which is recognized as a disease as of 2013 here in the United States. And most people just think it's a personality trait. They're gonna decide when they wanna care about the number on the scale, and when they care, they do all the things. When they don't care, they don't care. Once I was really like taught, you know, what the disease was through my surgical center and used that, they used that language, and I was like, what are they talking about? Like, I don't have a disease. But no, you know, sure as it is, Yeah. my medical records, you know, morbid obesity. But nobody ever said to me like, today I'm going to add this. This is the day that this is going to crack onto that list of underlying health conditions you have, right? And so a lot of people go into the surgery, some very aloof, some with a surgical team that tries to help out with that, and some people who I think just go on with just blinders, man. And I think the GLP-1s get even the shorter end of that stick, unfortunately. At least us, we're having a major operation. There has to be some sort of conversations and expectations set. Right? But then the GLP-1, it's just a shot and you just sort of go to social media for that post-op care, like we do as bariatric patients, and for them, for their nutrition advice and sort of ways to live their life on a GLP-1. And it's obviously a very mixed crowd of conversation out there because everybody's different, unfortunately. Everyone has a different reaction to these things. But my big pivotal moment in my journey of truly understanding that my life was forever changed really wasn't until I was like 7 months post-op. And I thought, people said, you're going to get hungry again. I was like, yeah, whatever. Not me. Because when you really can't eat much and you don't feel that desire, you feel in that moment that this is forever. And God, do we hope and pray that it is, and it's not. And those light bulbs started to come back on for me at like month 7. And I realized that some of it had to do with the choices I was making and I had to really analyze what I needed to be eating, start doing some research, asking questions to my primary care doctor, having a better understanding of nutrition opposed to the way that I've always understood nutrition, which was like a big calorie deficiency. And I never understood that I was lacking nutrients when I'm in these big calorie deficiencies as well. And I had to shift my diet from a heavily ultra-processed food diet as a bariatric patient, which is really what we are advertised. You look up bariatric surgery, and it's like what to be adding to your coffee in the morning for protein powders, you know, how, you know, protein bowls from Taco Bell. Like, there's very little conversation about like, hey, let's like, let's cook up some meat. Like, let's, let's roast some veggies. It's just not a very popular subject. But I mean, I don't think it's ever been a popular subject for any of us. We've always looked for a much softer, easier way, hoping that that was going to work. And I think another thing is that a lot of people don't truly understand what is protein? What kind— if I am going to consume calories, what food groups should I integrate into those calories that are actually healthy and safe for my body? Yeah, oh, absolutely. And it's— from the bariatric angle, you know, when we leave these centers, the majority of them, and there's some amazing ones here in the United States, and there are also some that are Just comical and just with horrendous advice. But you leave this and you, at minimum, you know what to be doing for the next 3 months, right? And it's so heavy on ultra-processed protein powders because that's all that your stomach can digest. Your stomach is in a healing phase. It can't take on fiber. It's like that's not an option. It's either been— 80% of it's been removed or a brand new one was created and it needs time to heal. And I think that's where the confusion is, is that after that 3-month marker, where do you go next? And you kind of stick with what you think is working. 60% of my client base have regained their weight after these surgeries. And I look at their diet, it's always the same thing. And they're asking me the question you just asked, like, I don't even know what I'm supposed to be eating. Like, I'm having 1,200 calories, which is the recommended amount after bariatric surgery. I'm having my 1,200 calories. I have a protein shake in the morning and then I have my protein bar in the afternoon. And then, you know, for dinner, we do make a meal and maybe they do get some fiber there, but the rest of the day is sort of a wash. And I too didn't understand the difference between a powder and eggs, a powder and steak. You know, it's one, just looking at it, I know is going to keep me a lot more full than the other one's going to, you know. And protein is a wild world today. I'm sure you and I can both recall when everything was low-fat or everything was keto. You know, now protein has taken the center stage and when Oreos and Doritos are adding it in, I feel like the gig is up. We've all got to understand that it's been taken to the next level. And yeah, what is a protein? A protein is the thing for a bariatric patient that will help you maintain muscle because you're going to lose muscle after the surgery. We have to hit 80 to 100 grams for most of the surgeries that you have, but also helps us keep our hair because we're going to lose hair in this process as well. The shakes will help at that at the beginning, right? But in the long term, like the satiety, just eating animal proteins will solve majority of the problems. The girls that I work with who've regained, we just swap out that proffee in the morning. We have 20 to 25 grams of chewable protein, and then they're not obsessing about food 2 hours later. They're actually full and satisfied. And then we just repeat that same thing every 3 hours. The weight gain they experience starts to come down, but most importantly, what they call the food noise starts to quiet as well. Mm-hmm, yeah, and a lot of us, we have busy lives. And so sometimes we might say, well, I'll just, you know, just today, today I'm going to be bad. I'll go get back on track tomorrow. Yeah, so I'm not good at that. I'll get back on track next year. That's what's gonna happen for me. And I always look at where the day went wrong for me? And it's usually time management issue and a lack of prioritizing myself, right? I come back to that this is a disease, right? If I had cancer, would I take days off on chemo, right? Probably not. And I think shifting my mindset to that this is a disease and once again, not a personality trait, is a daily reminder. It's not like I just say that once and like, boom, I've got this, Carmen. I'll never think about eating things off plan again. Absolutely not, right? But I live in a solution. Right? I recognize what foods and scenarios are my problem, and so I do not participate in those, right? Then I don't have to live in my problems. And I live in Las Vegas. I go out to eat regularly, but I look at the menu beforehand. I commit to my husband on what I'm gonna have because he's most likely gonna eat the other half of it anyway. So just to give him a forewarning of what I'm planning on ordering. And then I almost always skip like dessert because sugar's just not part of my diet. I've just learned that I, I think better without it. And I haven't had fast food in 4 years, and I have not once found myself stranded in a place where I couldn't find a food option. At the airport, traveling, you know, anywhere. Like, I have to plan it, or I'm gonna go to a grocery store and grab something healthier there, and I'm just not gonna go to the drive-through. Because once I go through the drive-through once, I will be there Every day, because that's what my life was like before, right? But a lot of us don't like being inconvenienced is what it comes down to. But that was my problem, is that I didn't want to be inconvenienced. I thought I deserved to have everything quickly and easily, right? And the life that I was handed, the genetics I was handed, and the way that I think does not allocate for that to exist all the time for me in that way. I have to cook for myself. I have to prepare. But in exchange, I get to go up a flight of stairs and not, you know, want to croak over. I get to get on an airplane seat and not feel like I'm going to be squished in this tube for 8 hours, right? I get to say yes to hikes. I get to say yes to the trampoline park. Like, there is an exchange rate. I can't have both of them. And I got to remind myself every single day when it comes to making those decisions. And let's be honest, making those decisions is not easy. No, not at all. Not at all. Because I came to the realization in October because, you know, I'm menopausal, you know. Yeah. And I came to a realization that I love chocolate. I love sugar. But I think it loves me more than I love it because it sticks and then I can't get rid of it. And so I made the decision to stop feeling uncomfortable when we travel on the airplane or when we go to places where I am wearing less clothing, like a bathing suit. Yeah. How much— do I want to continue to be uncomfortable in those situations or do I want to be able to be happy and comfortable. And if I do, then I got to give up sugar because once I hit menopause, my body responds differently to sugar. And if I have sugar today, then I'm going to have sugar tomorrow and I'm going to have it the next day, just like you. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then I get weird about it too, dude. I get secretive. Like, people— I'm like doing it where people don't know. You know, I'm just doing all sorts of oddball stuff. And what does that sound like? The same way I drank. The exact same way I drank, you know. So my life has been so much better without those foods, but it does require a lot of work, a lot of planning, and a lot of sitting through the emotions. Because I find a lot of times when I'm thinking about sugar, there's something else going on. I'm stressed, I'm tired, there's something I'm supposed to be doing but I'm trying to avoid doing it. I gotta feel that. I gotta let that happen. I can't just shove it down. And, you know, that's a whole other amount of work outside of just simple planning my food and meal prepping. And, you know, it's just allowing myself and sometimes to just be frustrated that that is the deck of cards. But I have to find stuff to be grateful for because I'm in a house, you know, I have, I have a family, you know, I have a career, I have my, my kids, I have a car. Like, I have all the things I've ever wanted, right? The, the sugar isn't going to make it better. It's going to give me a glimpse of like just a 5, 10-minute feeling of awesome. And then the rest of the day, I don't feel good about it. And I don't feel good inside either. And that's the same thing with me. It's just, I get, you know, because I gave it up in October. If I were to have sugar today, if I were just to have a little bit of cake, or maybe have a little bit of candy in the evening, My— it hurts my gut. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't get it. Because it's just, it's an uncomfortable, like I'm going to get sick. Yeah. Yep. And bariatric patients, like especially those who've had the bypass, they have something called dumping syndrome, which is when they consume sugar and fat and it doesn't sit in the stomach, dumps right into the second intestine, and it causes essentially like an anxiety-ridden diarrhea experience. I had the gastric sleeve, so I've not experienced that. But what's mind-boggling to me is that people who experience it and then continue to do it. And I always bring it back to the alcohol, right? Like getting— I've never had a DUI. I should have been pulled over twice, got away from it both times. But, you know, people I've met who've gotten them and then once again back behind the wheel drinking, right? You know, like we just— some lessons, like the physical pain part doesn't mean too much to us. But the emotional part, I think we can remember, like even the way you're describing it, right? You know, there's how do I want to feel? Do I want to feel good? Right? Like that emotional aspect of it. The physical pain, we're really quick to always forget. If you think about the most pain you've ever been in your life, like for me, I think the most physical pain I've ever been in my life was probably childbirth, right? But I can't like feel it. Like, I can't feel that, like, pressure right now if I try to, right? I can't feel it. But if I think about the most emotional thing that's ever happened to me— grief, right? And I think about it, I can feel it. Like, it exists here. And I— and obviously it's an uncomfortable feeling, but it's there. And I like to tie my drinking, like, my memories to not drinking, to an emotional memory, because I'm more likely to want to avoid an emotional pain than I am to feel physical pain that I simply cannot recall on. Tell me something, because I see similarities between you and I. I gave up drinking in 2021. I didn't think I had a problem, but other people seem to think I had a problem. That's usually how it starts. And I one day decided, you know, I cannot Because I became Christian at that time. Like, I cannot call myself a Christian and behave like a Christian and continue to drink alcohol because it controls the way I act, the way I rephrase things, and I'm not being true to myself. And so I gave up drinking. And so do you find that if you've had, if you've identified and given up some kind of addiction, Mm-hmm. That you can pick up another one real quick. You can cling on to just other things. Yeah, yeah. It's not bad, it's just food or it's just chocolate. Yes. Like, I'm a very, very active member of Alcoholics Anonymous and I see miracles in that room every day. You know, I see people just absolutely change their life, but I also see people take it right to food very quickly. But then in my space, I see it go from food often to shopping. at least with my clientele, right? And food and shopping have so much similarities in that, like, I think of Uber Eats, right? Like pressing the button and watching the food be tracked. I think you can get the same thing from TikTok Shops, right? Or from Temu. You get the same Amazon, click the button and see it show up. You know, you get that same experience. You know, transfer addiction is, I think, very common amongst bariatric patients. Alcoholism is the one that's the most spoken about. And like, this is slightly off topic, but I have like one bone to pick with the bariatric community that we talk about transfer addiction, but we won't talk about where it's coming from because food addiction is not recognized in the DSM. So if we're going to say that someone has a problem with food and transfer it to something else, then we have to say that there's a problem with the food and we have to acknowledge and give people the idea that like you may be addicted to some of the foods that you're eating. I think there's enough science and research today that's showing that this is the case, but until it's recognized by the DSM, You can't go in and say, I think I'm eating addictively. I mean, for me, I end up in front of maybe, if I'm very lucky, an eating disorder clinic where the rule of thumbs are a little bit different on the way that they treat on a cognitive level. And very old school is that like if you're binge eating it, you know, you have the appropriate amount and you, you don't throw it up and you keep it down, right? And that moderation technique has just never worked for me. me, right? But to come back to the original part of what you're talking about here is I have something inside me that I just constantly feel like needs to be fulfilled. And until I found, you know, I don't really identify as a specific religion, but I very much know that I am not the smartest person in the room. I very much know that, like, there's something up there. I can't identify it. I don't have a particular name for it. I'm very open to what it is, but I know that it's up there making choices, and I just need to do the next right thing, right? And if I can kind of funnel that thing up there, that can keep me fulfilled. But I will constantly benchmark my life on, oh, if I get this, that's what I need. Oh, if the scale hits this number, ah, I'll have everything I want. No, it's not gonna— it's not gonna fix my crappy relationship or my stressful job. Right? Only I can fix that. And when I got sober, my house was in foreclosure. My cars had been repossessed. I got lucky enough to sell the house thanks to the laws of COVID I sold my house, paid all my bills off, paid everyone over I screwed financially, rented a little condo for me and my son who was, um, 4 at the time. And I had my surgery. I was down 50 pounds. I was living my best life. I was so happy. And I thought the only thing I'm missing is a hot pink couch. I need a hot pink couch. That's gonna solve my problems. So I went to the internet, as one does, and I found the hot pink couch, ordered it. It was gonna take a month to come. I kept thinking about it. I had the space right there in my living room waiting for it. It showed up, they unwrapped it, they set it up, and they left. And I sat on that thing, and here I am, the healthiest I've been. I have my bills paid, I have some money in the bank account, nobody's mad at me, I have full custody of my kid. Life's great. And I realized, oh, I, I'm still not satisfied. I have got to find a place to start streamlining this. And like, I really dug down on my work then in Alcoholics Anonymous because it turned out nothing's gonna fill this hole. Like, the pink couch didn't do it. The hitting 150 on the scale didn't do it. Getting married didn't do it. Like, having a successful business didn't do it. Nothing will do it other than having a solid relationship with my higher power, as I call it in Alcoholics Anonymous. So let's go back. I want to go back, back to that 7-month period after surgery, and you realize that life is different. Where did you go? Where did you go to figure out how to get through life in this new life? I went to the internet. I went to the internet. It's actually— so I tracked all my food. I was an avid food tracker. My sponsor at the time in Alcoholics Anonymous had had bariatric surgery and regained her weight. And I was heeding from her advice. You know, she said very openly to me, I was not ready to deal with my relationship with food. You will find that to be the challenging part about this surgery. So I'm tracking everything. writing everything down. And I noticed at 7 weeks, I'm hungry— or 7 months, I'm hungry about 30 minutes after I drink water. Now, when you have the surgeries, you have an issue with water. It's the osmolarity of the water, which is the texture. It doesn't sit very well in our pouches for a while. You can change the osmolarity of your water simply by adding lemon or lime. But what's very popular in the bariatric community is like Crystal Light, skinny syrups, these like artificial sweeteners. So We're consuming these from morning to night in the water, and that's what I was doing because that's what everybody else on TikTok was doing. And I'm noticing that I drink it and then I'm hungry. I drink it and I'm hungry. I look at
the ingredients. I Google the ingredients:sucralose, right? And I'm finding study after study that's talking about sucralose increasing you desire to be hungry. And I'm like, well, this is weird. I find a book by a bariatric surgeon called Dr. Weiner called *A Pound of Cure*. I buy the book and I learn about the disease of obesity, and. I ran to the internet and was like, you guys aren't gonna believe this, but this food that we're being told to eat, I think it might be problematic for us. And I didn't get the best take back on that initially 'cause it is kind of controversial. We want our cake and eat it too after surgery, just smaller portions, and we assume that that's gonna be fine, right? But then I just knew I had to make some changes to the food. And I started making changes. I started helping other people make the changes, and I watched myself get where I wanted to go. I watched women who had surgery 20 years ago get to their lowest weight by making those same changes. And we just created an entire community out of it. But I went to the internet because I don't think my surgeon was going to give me that answer based on the post-op care I was given, which was to consume all those products in the first place. And, you know, I was talking, I think a year or two ago, I spoke to a female doctor. You know, she was an OB-GYN that specialized in— she specialized in women's hormones. And she told me that when you take GLP-1, because I'm going to go to GLP-1. She says, when you take GLP-1, what a lot of providers fail to tell you is that there are certain foods you need to stay away from while on it or you will get so sick. Yeah, absolutely. And a lot of people don't get that. And also, they don't all get that That doesn't always happen to all of them. Like I described the dumping syndrome with the bypass patient, that doesn't always happen to them. So they think they get the green light. It wasn't a thing for me, so I can eat that, but it doesn't mean you should. These foods are sitting in our stomach longer. That's what they're made to be doing. That's what a GLP-1 does is it slows down the digestion. So if you are consuming a heavily ultra-processed food diet, which I believe an American diet is like 72% ultra-processed, McDonald's is not meant to stay in the stomach very long, and it will— for some people, it will not feel good when you make that. And when I, when I hear someone tell me I'm nauseated or I have diarrhea or constipated, I always kind of like, well, what are we eating with the medication? Answer's usually, usually sitting right there, you know. And that's the biggest issue I see on the GLP-1s in our community is that they're given without anyone asking what people are eating. Because I think if you can look at the food first, because the medications 1,000% work, 1,000% work, and are great for some people. But if it's just a shift to the diet that honestly needed to happen, that's a cheaper— that's cheaper. Change that, like, so much cheaper. And it is a marriage with these medications. You're most likely on it for the rest of your life. People give it a lot of grief because of that, but no one seems to kick that rock to insulin. You're going to be on insulin the rest of your life if you're a type 2 diabetic. Nobody goes, can you believe that? You're type 2, you know you're going to be on insulin the rest of your life. Nobody says that. But you say, I'm on a GLP-1, you know you're going to be on the rest of your life. It's such an odd thing that we give people a hard time about that, but not about insulin. Did you discover when you, when you did that discovery of your aha moments about the— yeah, about These things you were putting in your water to make it easier to get down, did you discover that there were certain foods that you were eating, whether they were healthy or not, that maybe affected you differently than someone else? Yeah. I mean, primarily artificial sweeteners. Like, I don't have sugar in my diet, but I also do not have sucralose. I don't have any of those artificial sweeteners, acesulfame potassium. I don't have maltodextrin, which is not an alt— it's not an artificial sweetener, but it is a very common additive that scores higher on the glycemic index than sugar itself that's in a lot of bariatric products. I don't do well with them. I'm hungrier and I'm ravaging and I want to eat everything in sight. And I've tested this out. I've tested this out. Last year, I was in a lifting program and I tried I was recommended to supplement my protein intake because it's hard to get 150 grams as a bariatric patient. It's a full-time job. And to supplement it with a shake. And I tried it for a few days. And that shake that I had in my house had stevia in it, which is actually a natural sweetener. And even that, I was just like, yeah, my brain is like, where's the sugar? We want it. Where is it? You know? And I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's like something in my body just doesn't recognize that. Like, just, just gets so hungry. Like, it's like missing calories. It's like there was— we're missing something, we need more. Like, what's the nearest possible thing what we can consume? And that doesn't happen for everybody, but that's what happens for me. It's why I just don't consume them at all. Makes it a lot easier that way. And you talked about, um, Taking in the certain amount of protein, because I always try to at least hit 120, which is so hard. It is. So dang hard. No matter how I, you know, I think the best I can honestly do, and I'm being honest, is 54. If I, you know, if I hit 54, I'm having a good day. But it's hard. It is. I have it, I have it like planned throughout now. I have the same thing every morning. That gets me 25 grams of protein every morning. I have plain Greek yogurt with vanilla extract and some fruits in it and a couple of nuts. Every morning, I have it in the first hour. So I get that 25 done, moved on. I usually go to Pilates. I get back and I have a premade meal from a local company here in Vegas called Real Prep Meal Prep. And it's 4 ounces of turkey, half cup of vegetables, half cup of sweet potato. And I eat that and then boom, I have another 20. The rest of the day, because I eat about 4 to 6 small meals a day, I make it up there, you know, get it done. Dinner usually gets another 25, but it's a full-time job. And that was something my bariatric surgeon said to me. He said, this will be a full-time job afterwards. And I was like, yeah, whatever. What do you— you don't— what do you know? Have you had the surgery? No. Um, but it is. I gotta think and plan all of that because it's so easy to not hit those protein numbers and to do it with chewable protein and not manufactured protein like The powders are. I don't want to consume those ways. I just don't think it makes sense for a candy bar to have 20 grams of protein. That's true. That is so true. You know, and like Starbucks, Starbucks, and then we bought my daughter some just like a Greek yogurt type of drink, and it had like 25 grams of protein. And I'm like, okay, and how much grams of sugar? Right, right. Or what artificial sweetener is in it, you know? And most people don't even know where whey protein comes from. It's a film on the top of making cheese, and that until the '80s, it was tossed out and fed to animals. And then the health and fitness industry made some big changes back in the '80s, right? If I was gonna— if I was in the, you know, a salesperson in the health and fitness industry and I wanted to sell you a treadmill, Right. How many treadmills am I going to sell you? One, if I'm lucky. I'm going to convince you that you and your husband need to be on treadmills next to each other, walking and holding hands. Like, how many can you sell, right? But if you take this powder and you take it off and you dry it out and you add some things to it, you can charge $60 for a large container, or you can charge $5 for a drink version of it. It's a huge money-making market. And as you can see today, it's in everything. Like Starbucks is brilliant. Like it's a great business move because how many people were getting those drinks and coming home and adding their powder? And now you could just go there and get it for what, $2 added? You know, but it's still a very manufactured type of protein. I think it works if you need to supplement, but I don't think it's great for replacing an entire meal, right? Trying to get to 150 and supplementing is different conversation than someone who's like, I need to get 80 a day and I got 25 from a shake and then I got another 25 from a candy bar that had this in there. Completely different types of proteins. You know, some people might look at bariatric surgery or GLP-1s as the easy way out. You're going to get skinny. You're looking for the easy way. You don't want to go to the gym and, you know, move. And my aunt, my aunt did it and she gained the weight all right back after she did the GLP-1 or did the Or had the gastric bypass surgery. Right. It's not the easy way out. Yeah, it's not the easy way out at all. I mean, people love that idea. There is a stigma about losing weight. It's a privilege, right? If you're gonna lose weight, you're— we— people don't— I mean, I don't know, like, people sit around and whisper, like, did you see that, you know, that Mary lost 20 pounds? Like, I wonder what Mary's doing. Like, you know, we have all these assumptions. If you're on a GLP-1, people all sorts of opinions on it. You have the surgery, people have all sorts of opinions on it. But I find that the people who say something to me have something going on within themselves, and I'm just a mirrored reflection of that. If you're going to tell me I took the easy way out, like, if you're going to leave that comment on a TikTok video of mine and then I see your profile and you can't even show your face in a video, like, I ain't too worried about what you got to tell me, okay? Like, people say things for themselves more than they ever say it to others, you know? So I just think like something has been mirrored. I see it the same in my— and maybe you have the same experience, but when I tell people I don't drink, um, I don't like walk around with a banner about it, but if I'm at an event and someone says, you want a drink? And I say no, and the person next to me says, you don't drink? And I'm like, no. And they're like, oh, I'm slowing down myself. Like, I don't— I didn't ask, but it's weird that you're saying that to me. Because that's probably something I would have said in front of somebody who I saw not drinking because it was concerning because I knew I had a drinking problem and I didn't want to come off like that, right? So I think a lot of it is just like this mirroring, you know, people say things to make themselves feel better about the situation that they're in. Or maybe scary is— surgery is scary. And some people are just not going to do it because of a fear, right? Any other emergency surgery, they'll jump on board, right? But this still feels elective. And if it feels elective, there's a fear associated to it, a control mechanism controlled to it. So some people who aren't gonna do it because they're too scared to do it are gonna tell somebody else it's the easy way out to justify the fact that they're not gonna do it. And because the weight's on, it's gonna come back. Because like you said, it's kind of like peeling back that onion. What caused it? What is the root? What's hiding behind that thing that we all see. I think it's still like so controversial right now. Like, I mean, the— I was watching last night the Jillian Michaels YouTube thing with the 20, and that is fascinating. I mean, they're speaking English, but they're also speaking fluent victimese. Like, nobody wants to take accountability, and they think doctors aren't going to say it. They're not going to say, listen, Shenelle, this is partially your problem. They're not going to say it because it doesn't feel good and people don't want to hear it. But I almost think it has to be part of the conversation because we're going to tell someone smoking cigarettes that has lung cancer, you got to stop. You're the only one who puts that to your mouth. You got to stop doing it. And some are going to continue to smoke and some aren't. It's like a big lie to not say that we can't bear any responsibility. If you tell me that my, my food choices bear no responsibility to this, then what do you think my food choices are going to be? They're going to just stay the same. Like, it's tough to hear it. I didn't want to hear it years ago. If I was one of those women at that table with Jillian Michaels, they didn't want to hear it either, right? Like, it has to be everybody else's fault. I got to take responsibility where I can. I've known for a very long time that starting every morning with a venti caramel macchiato from Starbucks is 500 calories. Why do I know that? Because when I dieted, I didn't drink it, right? I knew exactly how many calories are in it because I've looked. I put it in MyFitnessPal at a certain point in my life. I'm aware, but I'm still going. I'm still going because right now I don't care about the scale, right? I'm making a conscious choice, and I— it's, it's just, I've just been in the seat where I don't want to hear that. And I've also I've been in the seat where I don't want to be told I have a drinking problem, right? I don't want to be told I have a drug problem. I don't want to be told I'm not showing up as a good parent. I'm not showing up as a good employee. Like, I've been in those seats. At a certain point, I took responsibility of all those seats. And once I take responsibility, I'm the only one who could change it. And then I am a control freak anyway, so why not tell me like, listen, it's on you, girl. Like, give me the power back. Don't tell me that it was just simply genetics. Right? Like, or that it was just simply trauma. Tell me that, like, I can make the next decision. It's on me. And that's a lot more empowering for me. And that's, you know, that's worked for me because I do love to speak victimese too, dude. Like, I have known that language for a long time. So let's talk about the woman who has dieted for the last 20, 30 years of her life so that she could look Cute, attractive. Now she's in perimenopause or menopause, and it's not working. Yeah, it's not working. And the dieting, you know, the average woman diets 17 years of her life, is 17 years actively at a diet stage, which is a large amount of time. And menopause, we all have a different response to it. And it's not fun. And I haven't, I haven't crossed the bridge yet. I'll be joining you guys all very soon. It's coming. I almost, you know, I look at my food choices today as just like securing the staying in line for what's going to happen in the future, right? I don't want to have a diet and then all of a sudden I'm gonna make all these changes now because menopause has come and clearly that part's not working for me anymore, right? I think we also experience a different version of this in college. Where what we were doing as teenagers all of a sudden is not working in what we're doing in college, right? And we're going from these big extremes, from I'm dieting and I'm, I'm counting my points on Weight Watchers and I'm eating Lean Cuisines and I'm, you know, doing sugar-free everything, to you know what, that's not gonna work for me because I'm going on a cruise next week, so I'm just not gonna care. When I get back from my cruise, I'll deal with it, right? And we just bounce between— we pinball back and forth. But what about the middle? What about the middle? And I think the middle has to have a lot of acceptance. Like, your body's telling you, I get it. You love, you know, having macaroons and cappuccinos every day, but like, I can't keep doing that. I can't process it the way you want it, you know? And just accepting it. Like, I have accepted that my body has a reaction I cannot control. And also that my brain has a reaction to those foods that I seem not to be able to control. either, you know. And it's a tough— it's a tough acceptance that this is, this is the law of land. We all think we're gonna skip it, right? Like, I think it's a beauty that as humans we're very unsure if death is actually a thing for us. We're like, I don't know, like, maybe they'll figure that thing out by the time I get to that age, you know. Like, we do kind of walk around slightly naive to consequences. But I work with a lot of women who regain And menopause is the first thing they say to me. And I ask, well, what are you eating? And once again, the problem is also there. It was not just menopause. The problem was there. And if you are still going from one extreme diet to not caring versus living a lifestyle— because what's a lifestyle? Because right now that is your lifestyle. Like, not, not you, Carmen, but you know what I mean. That is the lifestyle. Like, I'm, I'm not caring and now I'm going on a diet and just bouncing back and forth. But what about a lifestyle where you, you stay very consistent in your choices and you focus on, you know, good quality proteins and fiber and fruits and vegetables. You don't even necessarily need to be counting your calories to do that. If you have a whole foods diet, everything else tends to fall right where it's supposed to. And what I think is real important here is, you know, you're talking about the lifestyle, you know, and if you have a whole food diet, everything falls into place because when you hit menopause or perimenopause, Your body, you know, your hair starts to fall out. Yeah. And but like you said, if you were following this whole food diet, your body may not react as aggressive as it would have. Exactly, exactly. So don't wait for it to show up. Don't be like, oh, when menopause hits, then I'm gonna make all these changes. Because that's no different than what Ben's saying. Like, oh, you know, April 1st, I'll do it. Okay, you know what, you know, 2026, 2027, I'm gonna make these big changes. Like, I'm like, no, that's never worked. None of us have just woken up in a completely new psyche. None of us, you know? And I build these changes with my clientele over time because that's also our problem, 0 to 100. If I'm gonna change, I'm gonna change everything and tomorrow we'll be a brand new person. We just wake up and we can't do that, right? You gotta start with a foundation, one thing, work on one thing for a week and then add the next thing. And then if you're still stuck and you're still struggling to get the second thing And then let's continue doing that until that one is mastered. Move on to the next. You cannot just expect that tomorrow I'm never gonna have sugar again. Tomorrow I'm always gonna go to the gym. You know, tomorrow I'm always gonna make my bed. Like, realistically, that's probably not gonna all happen at once, right? Start with just one. And if it does happen at once, you're not gonna stick with it. Right. You'll have that, that cruise coming up and you're like, that's gonna be my moment. People will do You know, in our client base, like people will— our program is like 4 months or 12 months, right? And people will say, oh, I'm gonna join when I get back from this thing. And I'm like, no, actually, I won't take you on as a client with that mindset. You're gonna join with the thing. We're gonna get through the thing with you not going off the rails. Take the opportunity to handle life. Like let this be a little Super Bowl moment right now where you can go on the vacation. You can attend the family event, the graduation, the wedding, the thing, and make one choice. Because guess what? You'll have these things again. Just try it one time. Once. That's it. And we're talking about Bariatric Rewind, your, your community. Yeah, yeah, Bariatric Rewrite. Yeah, that's our— like, most of the people in there have had surgery, but we have a lot of GLP-1 people right now because it's just, I think, 18 million people in the United States are on it right now. It's a, it's a huge, huge amount of community, and I don't think they get the, the best sort of food advice, unfortunately, like we talked about at the beginning here, because I think the GLP-1s get left hanging on what to be eating afterwards. Yeah, I mean, because like I said, I know someone— I know a couple people have taken the GLP-1 medication and then they hit a certain plateau. Yeah, it's like they, you know, they're like, well, my goal weight is this, and I'm told to You know, consume this much or, you know, take this shot, you know, this much. Yeah, but I'm not hitting it. What is wrong? There's something wrong. And there's nobody there to help them, to guide them and say, do this. Yeah, and when I talk to that woman every day and I say the same thing, tell me everything you ate yesterday. Let's just start there. And most of the time the answer is right there. Sometimes they're not even eating. Like, you cannot expect your body to— once again, the medication keeps food in your stomach longer, isn't burning fat. It's not the same thing. You know, if you're not eating, your body is still gonna have a response to that that's not gonna like it. And it's not about to like help you drop those last 20 pounds because now you're taking in 800 calories. And what are those 800 calories? Probably not the best solid choices. And then when I have them transition to just eating clean, then they can't even hit the amount of calories they're supposed to. And then I'm like, well, maybe the medication wasn't the answer. Maybe the dosage is a little high. Go talk to where you got it from. And then that's a whole other fun question because a lot of them got it on the internet from somebody and they don't even have a person to have that conversation about what their dosage looks like and whether they should taper it down, or if it even makes sense for them to continue on it. You know, you can just get this thing with zero— has it like nothing. It reminds me of like when we were younger. Do you remember being able to order in the magazine like those, like, essentially ingredients for methamphetamines nowadays? And we took those things. Nobody was giving us advice. Exactly. That is so true. Do you also have some women or men in your community that maybe didn't have bariatric surgery, didn't do the GLP-1, but you know what? There is something wrong. That, that core, that onion down at the bottom, there is something wrong, and you can help me. Yeah, those, um, fall more in line on the food addiction side. But don't get me wrong, the ones with the surgery or the GLP-1 are also in that conversation. And I'm not here to diagnose. Addiction is a self-diagnosis. You're gonna decide if that's you or not. And when you join the Rewrite, we— 20% is transitioning you to a whole foods. The other 80% is working through the problems, working through the resentments, working through the fears, right? Working through the language we tell ourselves. And those are more of the addiction sort of things that exist in our lives, right? It's hard for me to make a good choice if I'm mad at my husband every morning because he didn't put the dishes away, but I'm not gonna tell him So instead, I'm going to go to Starbucks and I'm going to get a muffin and I'm going to get a Frappuccino, but that's his fault, right? And sort of got to like start being honest with ourselves and take back that control. Like, you know, have a conversation about dishes. Stop going to Starbucks because of it. Plan your breakfast the night before, you know, silly things like that. But I myself identify very strongly as being addicted to food. Despite it not being in the DSM. And I do think that'll change this year. I do think it'll be in the next one. But once you can name it, at least you can solve it, right? I can define what that means for me. For me, it is sugar and artificial sweeteners and fast food. That is what it is. Everyone's different. There's 12— over 12 variations of 12-step programs in food. Because there's not a one-path-fits-all approach like there is with drugs and alcohol. How difficult is it for you to work with your community members within your community and help them start to look inward and start to see, this is my problem. This is not my husband. This is not my mom, my dad, you know, not this person who did something to me. This is my problem. How do you get them to look deep without having to blame other people? Because it's hard. I mean, I did— I've done my own work, and it's so hard. It is. I— it's probably one of my favorite parts about what we do, because there are a handful of us who coach. So when you join the Rewrite, you have 4 of us that you're working with, and we all have our different things that we do. And this is like kind of my wheelhouse, is I love taking people to these places, right? And because I've been there, I think I have a little bit of a different avenue with them. It's so hard for someone who doesn't think like you, who didn't, you know, be in the same body that you're trying to get out of, to tell you to take the responsibility. It just doesn't hit, right? I think this is why 12-step programs are so— why do so well is because you're hearing from somebody who's been there, right? And And I had a therapist when I first got sober and she said, because I didn't want to go to AA. I didn't go into AA until I was 1 year sober. And she said, oh, why don't you just write your own 12 steps? Like, does that not just feed my own ego that I, you know, Shenelle Anonymous is going to figure this out? Because right now Shenelle Anonymous has a car— no car. Shenelle Anonymous doesn't have a house. doesn't have any money. Like, I can't make good choices. Don't ask me to write the exit plan either here, you know. But when I sit with, with men and women, and I— we do it, uh, in a couple— we— our, our primary method is having people start to review their days emotionally and where the resentment lies. Were they selfish? Were they dishonest? And inventorying that every night. And then we ask them to swallow a big pill, which is that no resentment is justified, and only clean up your side of the street. Do not tell other people what to do, right? Even when, you know, it's like most girls in our program, like, this is their husband's like 28th season of watching them lose weight. They're out. They don't care no more, right? They're just like, whatever she's doing this time. I'm like, so do not get off this call and tell him how to eat. Leave him alone. You didn't want to hear it when he asked you to change the ways because he was going to do something. You don't want to hear it. They don't want to hear it either. Only worrying about you. Like, be a silent example, right? But like, how can you take control? Like, if the— come back to the dirty dishes thing, right? Have the conversation that it sets you up for failure every day. Can he help you out? Can you work as a team on this? Right? Because the addiction in our brain doesn't want us to have that conversation. It just wants us to say, let's go to Starbucks, right? So you have to kind of fight the noise. You know, I call the noise in our head— we jokingly in our community call it Becky, right? Like, Becky's not on the same page, man. She doesn't really care about the airplane rides. She doesn't care about getting on the roller coaster. She doesn't care about these things. They're not her problems, right? She's up with a megaphone kind of marching around with poor advice because there's something else we don't want to feel. Like, maybe the reason you're avoiding having the conversation with him is because there's something, uh, you're not pulling your weight on something that he's gonna maybe say back, right? There's always so much more underneath, you know? So we just start reviewing those resentments, and I see the light bulbs immediately come on. And it's really fun, and it's just so much fun to watch people just take the control back. Like, you honestly are not this weak person that you keep saying to yourself, I'm gonna fail, this is another attempt, I'm gonna screw it up like I always do. Of course you are. If that's all you're saying to yourself, of course you're going to, right? But what if you start telling yourself the opposite? Then what happens, right? So that's how we do it in our program. But I feel like I gave a very, like, small summary of it because it is Way more than that. But it is my favorite part to watch. That's my favorite thing to see over in Alcoholics Anonymous too, is when people start realizing, you know, the good old Taylor Swift song that like, hey, I am me, I'm the problem. It isn't all these other people. Shenelle, what advice would you give that woman or man who's listening or watching and says, you know what, I'm going to be an I've been a big person all my life because I come from big people. I have this gene in my body that makes me this way because all my people are this way. I mean, does that sound like a fun hill to die on? Right? Probably not. Right? I think it's a very lazy way out to saying you don't want to change. Right, because that's also okay. It's also— it's fine to say that you accept this and that you're cool with this and that you'll just— you're totally great, right? Back to the cigarette smoker who's like, you know what, I'm going to continue to smoke. Like, the acceptance, take it, take it. But to say that it's predetermined sounds pretty contempt prior to investigation, right? Why don't you actually go see if that's the case? Why don't you try to do something different? I would ask the same question. I will come to everything. What did you eat yesterday? You had McDonald's yesterday and 3 Red Bulls? Okay, well, I don't know if that was genetic, right? Like, it doesn't sound like that's genetic. Sounds like those are personal decisions you're making. Why don't you try changing those and see if it's genetic? Why don't you do your own research project and prove whether that's correct or not? Okay. Shenelle, where can people learn more about you and join your program? We have a website, thebariatricrewrite.com, and then we have a free Facebook group, the Bariatric Rewrite Private Group. I always recommend that you join there first, come to a free workshop, linger around, learn a little bit, and see if the rewrite is for you. And do you— because I noticed you said this earlier in the discussion. Do you take just anybody, or is there an application process? So there is— well, there's an application process. We actually interview into the program. You have 2 interviews before, because we want to make sure we can actually help you. If I think that it's outside of our wheelhouse, we'll give you those recommendations. One of the reasons that we have the reviews that we have and the success rates that we have is that we just make sure you're ready to actually do the work. You're ready to be, you know, hear some things that aren't always going to feel super comfortable, and that we don't have any, you know, other underlining issues. Because if we're gonna change the way we eat, we need to make sure everything else in our life is ready for that, right? If you're currently cheating on your husband, let's fix that first, right? You're currently drinking way more than you should be, fix that first. Like, we do have an interview process to make sure, but yes, anybody on a GLP-1, surgery, preparing for surgery, or not having surgery, all are welcome. Because I just asked that question because you said if there was somebody who said, oh, well, I'll come, I'll join your community after I get back from vacation, you're like, forget you. Yeah, we are. Because it's tough love, my friend. Like, you're gonna vacation again. Let's go through this vacation as a team. And I've watched in the last 3 years that we have existed, I've watched men and women go through really horrible things and still make the right food choices. I have seen people lose houses to natural disasters. I have seen I have seen spouses pass away. I have seen children commit suicide. I have seen just the worst that you can imagine. And they held on because they had an entire team available to them 24 hours a day that said, come on, you— this is— let's feel it. Don't deny the grief. Feel it. It deserves it. Like, you deserve to be mad that this is happening. You can do that, right? And we can eat some good foods right now. And chances are that little noise will quiet down and then we're just gonna sit here and we're gonna bitch and moan together about it. Okay? We got your back on it. That's, that is so beautiful. Shenelle, thank you so much for coming on the show. I will post links to all of your resources down in the show notes so that people can connect with you. Thank you for having me. All right. Thank you. What I loved about this conversation is that Shenelle brought it back to something so important. It was never about the surgery, the medications, the scale, or even the hot pink couch. Real change happens when we start looking at the habits, the thoughts, the patterns, and the pain underneath it all. If this episode spoke to you, I hope it reminded you that shame is not the answer. Support, honesty, and the small, consistent choices are where real healing begins. If you would like to learn more about Shenelle Green, connect with her, or join her free private Facebook group, head on over to createthebestme.com/ep177 or click below in the link down in the show notes. If today's conversation encouraged Please share this episode with a friend, subscribe, and leave a review. It really helps more women find these conversations when they need them the most. Be sure to come back next week for another amazing episode created just for you. Until then, keep dreaming big, take care of yourself, and remember, you are beautiful, strong, and capable of creating the best version of yourself. Thank you for watching. Catch you next week. Bye for now. Bye.